Why yes, it’s just another blog post recapping 2013 and looking forward to 2014. Something I wasn’t planning on doing until I woke up this morning and realised that the simple change of date has had a real impact on me already this year.
2013 was the hardest year of my adult life (I don’t know how you can compare the pain and impact of school bullying to adult difficulties). It started pretty badly with the death of my sister’s daughter, Ariella, at 39 weeks gestation; it continued with the death of my husband’s Poppa in the middle, who was just as important to me. It ended on a much higher note with the birth of my nephew, Arnold, and the knowledge that January brings the birth of my sister’s second child. So despite a productive year of creating, I was more than ready to say goodbye and look forward instead – to stop buying fabric, to work through my list, to focus on creating for the sake of creating. But faced with a PJ day at home today, I realised I am actually excited to continue work on my sister’s ninja baby quilt. Why is this a realisation? And why share this now?
Over 50 000 of you have visited this blog almost 90 000 times and viewed over 220 000 pages throughout 2013. To say I am overwhelmed would be an understatement! Knowing that beyond my close online quilting buddies and bees, I have had such a large community supporting me through 2013 and helping me to celebrate the good things in life (because isn’t all sewing a good thing?!) is just… wow.
So you deserve some honesty – not just debating fabric choices, sneak peeks and happy finishes. Because this baby quilt has been a big struggle for me; an emotional battle. I actually bought the fabric before I knew my sister was pregnant, knowing that my brother-in-law needed a ninja quilt for their next child. But after that purchase, my heart struggled. I struggled to decide on a pattern to use. I struggled to start; to make that first cut. I have struggled to find the emotional energy to do anything with this quilt, scared that once again this quilt will not be used to keep my baby niece or nephew warm and cozy. Ariella’s death was completely out of the blue and remains unexplained, so I cannot fully trust that this baby will be born alive until it is.
But this morning, I woke up excited. Excited to tick things off my list, excited to challenge myself, excited to say goodbye to 2013 and to make 2014 bigger and happier and better. And that means the first thing on the list is trusting God to look after my little niece or nephew and focusing on getting this quilt finished and sent ASAP! So today I am turning up my music and getting down to it.
Thank you for sticking around in 2013 and I hope you all have a happy and creative New Year!
DeborahGun says
thankyou for sharing dear Alyce. I am sorry that 2013 has been a pain-filled year for you. It has been one of my hardest years too, but I too feel like it is time to move forward, to hold onto God and trust Him knowing that His plans are not always the same as mine, but they are far better 🙂 I am thankful that I really started to quilt and create in 2013 and for all the lovely people I have met, including you. Thankyou for your wonderful blog and for all the inspiration it brings. Hope 2014 is a wonderful year for you, filled with lots of joy xx
Larissa says
I totally get the struggle about getting things done for this bub! And just so you know, Ariella’s pram quilt is in the hospital bag, all ready to wrap this little one up, snuggly and warm.
susie says
oh such a beautiful post. I know what you must be feeling but we all need to be positive don’t we? I’m very much looking forward to a better year and am wishing you and your family every happiness for the future. Happy New Year and keep up the great blog posts (I still have your post on fabric shops filed away for that rainy day we might just get to Tokyo – we would love to bring the kids and just perhaps this year……..who knows). Thanks again.
Joanna says
Oh, how terrible for your family 🙁 I can understand your hesitation to start on the new quilt. 2013 seemed to be a hit and miss year for lots of people, so hopefully 2014 will be much better, and you’ll be able to finish that awesome ninja quilt for the new baby!!
Chris says
A new baby will bring new hope into everyone’s life just as your nephew did. There are no words to ease the pain of loss and time really only passes but with each day you learn to deal with your grief and find joy again in those around you. I hope 2014 will bring you some happiness, buy yourself an Orchid. It’s beauty is inspiring on all levels, especially in the winter. Thanks for your patterns and your blog.
Lorna McMahon says
Happy New Year, Alyce! Here’s to the coming year and all of its wonderful possibilities! So glad to have met you and looking forward to seeing what inspiring creations you share with us in 2014!
Carrie C. says
God’s blessings to you and your family in all of 2014!
Kathy says
Alyce your post was beautifullying truthful. Tears are in my eyes as I wish you a fresh, renewed spirit in 2014
Wishing you all the best in the NewYear. May Faith, Hope, and Love be your strength. I know it isn’t easy when life throws such a rotten curve ball your way but I hope it helps knowing others out here care deeply. xx
Kerstin says
I’ll be sticking around in 2014 as well to read your inspiring blog. Happy New Year to you and your family
Mara says
Wishing YOU and your SISTER success in the New Year! Thank you for writing such a tough post.
Mary Clarke says
I soooo understand your hesitation. I was in the middle of making my first baby quilt for my first granddaughter when I got the call, my daughter had lost her baby, just 2 weeks before Lynn was set to make her entrance to the world. I could never get myself, to finish work on the quilt, it was too painful. Then many years later, my son was set to welcome his own daughter to the world, I was scared for the very same reasons you were. But I did finish a new baby quilt and happily, my new granddaughter was able to use it. Hugs to you my dear and here’s to believing in a much happier year.
Christa Quilts says
What an amazing quilt it will be! Thanks for sharing your struggles and your triumphs. Here’s sending you a big hug!!
shirley tener says
you can do it and were here to share it with you… xo
Sarah Lou says
Wishing you a Happy New Year Alice, I hope that 2014 is a happy year for your family. The quilt is beautiful and I’m sure that your sister values your support and love, whatever the future might bring.
Kelly G says
I just want to let you know that I am thinking of you and your precious family Alyce!
Wishing you an amazing creative day! xxxxx
Soma says
It will make a beautiful quilt. Happy sewing, dear Alyce! I will be thinking about you.
-Soma xx
SarahZ says
Giddy-up, and you go girl! Drink it all in! Wishing you a Happier 2014!
Cassandra says
I’m sorry that you had such a hard year with so many losses. 🙁 🙁 I can’t even imagine what it would be like for your sister to lose a child.
Tonya says
You are an amazing lady, you know. To be able to put into words your difficult year and your feelings about the year to come is a talent. I already knew you were a talented crafter and quilter. This post reminded me that you are on my list of online people I’d like to really meet one day. Thanks for your friendship this year. Tonya
Kathy says
Hi, I just found your blog for the first time. Someone provided a link to your awesome HST tutorial at the MSQC You Tube channel. I started wandering around and found this post and like the others who replied, I know how you feel. Sewing is an amazing therapy to heal emotional wounds. Sometimes it is so hard to get back up on that horse again when tragedy strikes. You have an amazing amount of resilience. I think having a strong sense of faith that good things will happen is so important, thank you for reminding me of that. You can count me in to follow along in 2014!