There’s something that’s been on my heart for a few months now, and I’ve been struggling with it. Community. Real community. Soul-filling, life-giving community. It is something that we all innately crave, whether we realise it or not. To be with others who understand, who love, who do not judge but support and encourage. I have it with my family, with my friends, with my church. But how do I have that with Blossom Heart Quilts? How does my quilting business and dreams align with this core value of mine?
For years, I’ve predominantly been an online quilter. I cannot emphasise just how much the online quilting community got me through our time in Japan as my source of English-speaking friendships with those who truly understood my need to create. Online is where I first started sharing my quilting, started teaching via tutorials, started my business that supported my family through selling fabrics for a time, and always the patterns. It’s where I met lifelong friends that I have travelled around the world to stay with and spend time with. Plus building up an online presence has lead to some amazing opportunities for which I’m so grateful.
Yet there’s the paradox of how spending so much time online can also start to become damaging. The mindless, endless scrolling. The comparing. The FOMO (fear of missing out). The overstimulating yet mindnumbing nature of social media. A friend has recently made the decision to deactivate Facebook, and when I heard this news, I actually felt jealous. And then guilty for being jealous. I have to be on Facebook for work and other obligations, and that’s ok, I accept that and fully commit 100% to these. But there’s apparently a big part of me that wonders what life would be like without Facebook!
Don’t worry, this isn’t some “I’m quitting online” post, but rather, it’s coming from a need to share with you where my head is at the moment. Of where my heart is pulling me to go in the future. Because I’m realising that I am not alone in walking this fine line. I attended Jenny Doan’s trunk show on Wednesday night, and hearing her stories about quilts bring love and hope to people, and her talking about how quilting brings people together… there may or may not have been some tears in my eyes.
That’s what I want to do. I want to use quilting to bring people together. I want to show new people how fulfilling it is to make a quilt for a loved one, where every little decision is made because you think that this person will love it. From the colour choices, to the prints used, even to the colour we choose to bind – do we frame it with a darker colour, or make it almost disappear so that the quilt top design shines? Yet at the same time, quilting is not complicated. That’s what I really loved about Jenny’s talk – quilting is a way to show our love, to express ourselves creatively, so make it work for you. Do not be ruled by the “quilting rules”.
For me and ‘Blossom Heart Quilts’ as a business, quilting is not about the rules. It’s not about the perfection. It’s about giving and sharing.
It’s about making what you love, with love, to love.
How that all looks and works out, I don’t know. I’m pondering and brainstorming, trying to work out what exactly I want to make happen, and how that can work in with my young family’s needs too. The moments I have treasured the most in quilting are when I have been spending time with my friends, quilting and chatting (and eating!), and I want to share that with others. To bring people together so that they can meet each other and develop friendships; to nurture and create community. In person.
I’m not going to lie, this is a little scary for me to put it all out there and be a bit vulnerable in front of you all! But I strongly feel that it’s important I do so, because as I said, I know I’m not the only one who’s feeling this way.
Kay says
This is a lovely post. I taught myself to sew from books and blog tutorials, I learned about patter, colour, how to baste and bins etc all from reading blogs and have always found them to be friendly, helpful, and inspiring places. Thank you for what you do. x
Alyce says
Thanks Kay, I appreciate your kind words! I can assure you that the blog is not going anywhere, as it’s the one space I have to myself 😉
Carole @ From My Carolina Home says
You are not alone, I refuse to let myself get too involved with the constant pressure of social media. I have a FB page, but it is only to post my blog posts, and a sharing group for readers, but I do not check it everyday. I am not on Instagram, or any other like it. I stopped using Pinterest. I limit blog posts to four a week. It is the only way I can concentrate on actually creating, spending time with family and friends, and doing the charity work I feel is important to me now that I have retired and have the time. I love the community, quilters are the best. It is all about balance.
Alyce says
Thanks for sharing, Carole! I try to remember to Pin my own blog posts to Pinterest, but I can barely remember the last time I actually “used” Pinterest! Thankfully I seemed to have broken free from THAT noise, at least.
Amy, a redeemed sheep says
You are able to put into words what I can not! So YES, YES, YES!! I am disappointed that more quilting bloggers are putting their thoughts and pictures on Instagram or Facebook and not on their blogs. Quilting bloggers are who taught me how to quilt!! Instagram lost me when they changed their algorithm. I am on there only to post for my online Sewing Bee, but other than that, not much. I know I am missing out on so much because that’s where everyone is, but if I sit and stare at that screen all day long trying to see and learn all I can, I have lost my time in my sewing space creating and playing with my fabric. I am thankful you still post on your blog. I get an email telling me you have new content and I can read it when I have the time. I don’t miss out. I feel connected to you, even though I am probably one of your most quiet readers. =) Anyway, thank you for your thoughts and for all you share with your readers.
Alyce says
Ugh don’t get me started on that darn algorithm! It’s made it impossible to keep up with those people I DO want to really follow/see/interact with, and there’s only so many post notifications I will turn on because I hate having constant notifications pinging on my phone. But there’s no other way to make sure I don’t miss my close friends’ posts! Anyway, thank you for your kind words, it’s nice to know the quiet readers still read along 😉
Jayne says
As I’m sitting here scrolling…reading, I get exactly what you are saying and feeling. I frustrate myself everytime I take time to ‘see what’s going on’. It isn’t easy to manage screen time, but it is something that I feel I need to get a hold of! If it weren’t for my magic screen I never would have met so many wonderful like minded people or learned so much about quilting! Its a balancing act. One that I am sure can be tamed! Good luck with you and how you deal with it, but please let us all know what you decide!
Alyce says
Ha, yeah, the Bloglovin app is another scrolling option… although at least it’s still chronological 😉 It’s frustrating to try and walk the line between “work” and
personal” before I fall off into “too much time” on social media!
Barbara says
Alyce, what a beautiful post! I will be reading your post at our Comfort Quilts program. Your words beautifully speaks to our service group. We are mostly seniors who meet once a month at our local library to make small quilts for children, nursing homes, anyone who needs a hug! For the past 4 years we have grown from 10 to 40 women who feel a sense of community through teaching, friendship and love. Our quilts are not perfect but ill children only want a precious hug! When our group heard Jenny Doan’s talk, we knew we were “Healing Hearts One Quilt At A Time”. I love receiving your post through Bloglovin and will sign up for your newsletter. Thank You, B
Alyce says
What an amazing group you have! What an absolutely beautiful way to spend your time.
Donna Johnston says
Being open and vulnerable is a true human thing. Keep it up!
When I retired from teaching three years ago a friend from work invited me to join her group of quilting friends. They all know each other from their church, but they kindly included this non-church goer to join them. They have given me so much joy! We plan quilt days where for one or two days we will sew together from 9 to 9. We take turns preparing the meals. I have never in my adult life had so much fun!
Alyce says
Oh Donna, how precious! I absolutely love hearing stories like that, because it reminds me of what I love so much about quilting.
Susie says
I agree. This is a lovely story. Acceptance, friendship, fun and creativeness. Not much more you would want in life I’d say.
Alyce says
Pretty much 🙂 x
Heidi says
Alyce, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I feel like there was a community spirit present in our early years of blogging that’s missing now, and I have no clue how to get it back. It’s as if everything suddenly exploded and there was just too much all at once — social media especially — so everyone just stopped investing the time. I know that I couldn’t keep up with it all myself, and I spend a fraction of the time looking at blogs that I used to. I once felt so much a part of an online community, and now everything feels detached and distant. What’s the answer? I’m still figuring it out myself…
Alyce says
YES. So much yes. I still cling to my Bloglovin’ app as the one way to directly hear from each person individually, instead of being lost in the crowd of voices that is Instagram, etc. And it shows, because I often wait to read certain posts that pop up that I know I want to wait until I have a proper chance to sit and read. But many of those who started blogging back in the day with us are a lot quieter. And I must say, I watch those newbies who burst onto the scene with the same enthusiasm and drive we once had, and while I enjoy their work, I do wonder if they’ll follow the same tracks we did and quieten down to a much slower burn, or even burnout. Or will they have learned from our experiences and grow? That’s not to say we’ve all lost our enthusiasm and drive! It’s just changed. Gah, so many thoughts, not enough words…
Charlotte says
I love this. I learned most of what I know of quilting from on line blogs and tutorials and that is where I get most of my patterns and inspiration but there is so much “noise”. I understand that there is the business aspect of it but it often takes away the joy of creating for creating sake. Cheryl Arkinson had a similarly themed blog post a couple of weeks ago. Still trying to find the balance for me while keeping in touch with those quilters who have and continue to inspire and teach me – like you.
Alyce says
I certainly struggled with the business vs “creating for creating sake” for a while! There are still those moments, but I am now a lot better at making business decisions that help keep that joy and excitement in the creating. Which does mean saying no at times! But now the struggle is not wanting to be contributing to the “marketing noise”, but rather trying to make each post (wherever that may be) more meaningful and authentic. Cheryl’s post was also fabulous timing right in the midst of trying to work out what to do about it all! It was reassuring to know I’m far from alone in these thoughts!
kristie jarchow says
I think I understand what you are saying and I have been working to keep a balance for myself. I don’t have a problem stepping away from IG and Twitter because I do not have a smart phone to carry with me. I use my tablet on occasion to post or see what is up on those so that helps tremendously. I always feel like I am ADD when I do go because those images flash by and are gone from sight with very little content. I love Bloglovin and scroll that for content with those that I follow. I feel it is so much easier to share my own personal works online because of the huge amount out there. My quilting community and family are a bit more critical. This makes me withdraw a bit though I love sew days with my guild. There is much more a critical vibe present. I think for me keeping the blog is a much more relaxing venture. I can post when I want or not. I have not made it into a business but still feel like it is my lifeline to the quilting world. The only thing I can suggest is to try to bring back the content (which you do) to blogging. Contests need to come back to blogs with sharing and linky parties all need to be back and tutorials don’t have to be flash in the pan. I think community can be achieved in this media again. I detest trying to keep up with IG and reposting things there is what I consider a waste of time. I think I have control over FB and Pinterest for the most part, again because I don’t have a phone I have to choose to sit down and review these. I am not sure what the answer is but I would love to achieve this goal.
Alyce says
Ugh, don’t get me started on Instagram repost giveaways! That right there is the definition of “noise”!
Anne Boundy says
Hi Alyce, the talk was amazing wasn’t it! I laughed and I cried (and almost wished for 6 children to breathe new life into a small country town with!) I too have been wanting to share my love of quilting with others which has seen the creation of the Said With Love Quilt Barn – a space for classes, sew days, retreat weekends etc…. because sewing is so much more fun when done with others who love it was much as you do!
Alyce says
Haha! Yes, I joked in my newsletter today that I need a few more business-minded children to help me with my own empire!! I’ve also previously told my cooking-loving husband that maybe our retirement plan in 20 years is to open a quilting retreat – he cooks, I sew and teach 😉
Jean says
Dear Alyce,
What a wonderful couple posts! I think you are always giving and sharing, and I have followed you for several years. I appreciate you. I believe that you contribute positively to our lives in your own way, as Jenny does in hers. Keep up the good work! Thank you.
-Jean💟
Alyce says
Thank you so much, Jean, I really appreciate your kind support!
Deborah Gunthorpe says
This all rings so true Alyce. I am so over instagram right now – I just waste so much time scrolling and don’t get hardly any connection from it. My connection with the online quilting community feels so diminished compared to what it used to be like. I wish I had a real life quilting community but sadly I have looked and haven’t found one. Maybe I need to go back to blog reading (although Indonesia seems to have blocked Bloglovin so I need to find another Reader!)
Alyce says
Blocked Bloglovin?! Wow, that’s not something I’d have thought Indonesia would do… other countries, sure, but Indonesia?! Huh! Feedly is another one people use?
Emma says
This is my first time I have been in a bee, I have found that March is the best month as I am queen bee and all,this happy mail has been arriving. I am amazed that total strangers have taken time to make me a block. I have even got little gifts and lovely notes. Thank you for helping to create Community. I am even getting book suggestions from my bee friends.
Alyce says
My absolute pleasure, Emma! I love hearing stories like this 🙂
Lynn says
What a great article! I can completely relate. I have recently quit facebook and it feels so good. It seems like I would spend so much time scrolling through a bunch nothing and have no time or energy left to do what I really love. You keep doing what you are doing! You are inspiring quilters like me all over!
Alyce says
Thank you, Lynn! Enjoy your new-found freedom 😉
Dena Omar says
Thank you for your vulnerability. It it truly the only to connect.
Alyce says
Thank you so much, Dena! I’ve been overwhelmed and encouraged with the responses I have gotten from this post. Quilters are the best!