As a recovering perfectionist, I have let the quilt police AKA my inner critic win far too many times in my quilty journey.
That fearful voice that said, “You can’t sew curves”.
That worried voice that said, “You NEED a ruler”.
That sneering voice that said, “The quilt is not good enough to finish”.
Hands up who else has heard those before? I am determined to not let that happen anymore.
I am determined to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. I am determined to not use my seam ripper for anything but the most dire of sewing errors! I am determined to try new things and see it through.
I am determined to make imperfect progress and be proud of that growth.
I would love for you to come and ponder with me, to have a think about what you can do step out of your comfort zone and grow in your creativity.
As quilters, we often joke that we’re afraid of trying a new technique – I’m guilty of previously declaring that “Curves scare me!” and that came from the perfectionist within. The perfectionist who was too afraid of not being good enough, too scared of wasting time and having to unpick seams, or even worse, having to scrap a project. Want to know a secret that helped me begin to change this way of thinking?
It’s just fabric.
Yep, that’s it. It’s just fabric. We aren’t dealing with life and death, it is just fabric.
When we instead focus on the the learning and growth that happens when we lean into that creative process of falling down and picking ourselves up (or rather, unpicking that fabric), we shift our gaze from a downward spiral of shame and guilt, to the soul-fulfilling joy of creating.
Fear is the fuel for procrastination and avoidance. Fear of failure, of wasting fabric, of wasting your time leads to procrastination and the resistance to trying new things. A focus on the creating for creativity’s sake is the fuel for joy and inspiration and creativity!
So you know what’s next… time to pause and answer some questions to reflect on what’s holding you back from growing creativity.
What quilting techniques are you scared of trying?
What quilts do you look at in awe and wish you could sew like that too? Is it hand piecing, curves, foundation paper piecing, improv? When you reach December 2020 and look back at your year, what is the fear you would like to proudly say you conquered?
How would it make you feel if you were to try that technique?
Would you feel proud? Creative? Successful? I’m not talking about the quality of the outcome (although I know it will be fantastic because you DID IT!), I’m talking about how you feel when conquer that fear. I bet you might even say, “Oh, huh, that wasn’t so bad!” 😉
I’d love to hear what your answers are! Here’s a template to save and upload to your Instagram Stories and fill in the blanks. Tag me @blossomheartquilts and I’ll reshare them to my Stories. Or just play along in this post’s comments.
Christine says
I bought an HV sit-down mid-arm quilting machine at least 20 months ago. Although I did PLAY a bit on it, I was not happy with the results and discarded the small project. Since then, I have been fearful of trying again, and therefore have been procrastinating. Getting more accustomed to it has been a distant goal, but there are ALWAYS other things to get done. How can I possible put this at #1 of my goal list?!
Alyce says
Something I’ve learned over the years is that the way to really make goals “click” is to understand WHY they’re important. And sometimes, it takes asking ‘why’ several times to really get to the heart of the matter. For example:
Why do you want to practise quilting? – Because I bought the machine and I want to use it
Why did you buy the machine? – Because I enjoy quilting my quilts
Why do you enjoy it? – Because it’s creative and I enjoy feeling creative
Why is creativity important to me? – Because it’s inherently a part of who I am.
Your answers will probably vary, but you get the idea.
Another thing to remember is that learning a new skill is uncomfortable, because growth and change is uncomfortable. Try reminding yourself that change and growth and learning are positive things, and the harvest at the end of growing those skills will be so worth it. Which is where that second question comes in – how will you feel when you’ve reached a point where you feel comfortable and confident with your machine? Amazing, right?! Aim for THAT feeling 😉
Danielle says
The second quilt top I ever made was ALL curves – an alphabet pattern based on drunkard’ s path. It was made from of my grandfather’s dress shirts for my mom with the grandkids’ names. It came out so great, partly because I didn’t realize or think about what I was doing right or wrong. I put the quilting of it on hold last year so I could have a little more practice on projects that didn’t have so much sentimental value. Now that I have made a few more tops and quilted them, I am terrified of messing up this quilt that means so much to me! My hurdle is to come up with a simple quilting plan that I’m confident will look nice with the pattern. It will be such a release to finally complete it and be able to give it to my mom to enjoy!
peacemeal says
Thanks for saying that – I did too – I found a snowflake pattern and after making one 24 x 36″ baby quilt I decided to dive into Marsha McCloskey’s Feathered Star Quilt . Only a complete novice would pick such a pattern. And make it full size. Soooooo many mistakes and still my favorite quilt warts and all. My continual rule for making a quilt is “If you like it you will finish it and love it. If you make it because it is easy you are cheating yourself and you will never love like the one that challenged you. So Congratulations on doing such a meaningful family heirloom. And I bet Grandfather would rather have the kids love it and hug it and even blow their nose on it than have it hang in a closet unloved and forgotten.
Alyce says
What a beautiful quilt! I can’t wait to see a pic of it all finished next year 😉
Emma Kemmis says
My 13 year old son loves to cook. I love the fact that he doesn’t know that pastry is tricky so he just does it. The mini raspberry tarts were delicious, with rich pastry contrasted by the tart filling. He has no fear when it comes to cooking and just has a go. He will watch a video and think, I can do that! Sometimes I think we all need to just forget the inner critic and have a go, as you said its just fabric!
Alyce says
Right?! The fearlessness of children is so inspiring.
Linda B says
Great topic to tackle, Alyce! Thank goodness for blogs, podcasts & such. Just last week I was listening to someone who said “stop thinking and just do”. That is my struggle…to not overthink things, just get started. I have overcome procrastination (in the past) by taking David Burns’ advice (Feel Good Book): tell yourself you’ll just work on whatever it is for 15 minutes and then if you don’t want to continue, you don’t have to. Set a timer. It works really well (when you remember to do it). Another counter argument to the dialog in the head that I like is: Just because you think something does not mean it is true. Well, thanks for the reminder, Alyce and Happy Holidays to everyone! L
Alyce says
Oh man, I am a chronic overthinker when it comes to making particular types of decisions! I realised this year that a lot of that comes from fear of failure/rejection, and allowing it to become an excuse to procrastinate taking action on the scarier things.
Marianne says
I kind of think that inner voice or “quilt police” as it is sometimes referred to is helpful, to a degree. Isn’t that the purpose, to improve? You pick up a musical instrument to learn how to play it well. What would be the point in being satisfied with your playing and never see room for improvement? That being said, I agree it serves no purpose to berate yourself over errors, learn how to improve and practice until you get there. The same goes for quilting. I know mine has greatly improved over the past 25 years because I took the time to learn color theory, how to nail that scant quarter inch seam, and generally learn what I was doing wrong. So, I say bring on the quilt police!
Alyce says
Oh absolutely! It’s certainly a fine line between self-improvement and self-flagellation at times. I firmly believe that it’s important to know the basic skills well… so that you can then have the tools to wisely decide when good enough is good enough 😉
Kyle W says
I have been quilting for over 30 years and have several sayings that I have adopted. They helped me overcome fears and needless perfectionism.
– Two fabrics might not go together but 200 will
– If it can’t be noticed going past it in a car traveling 60 miles per hour then leave it
– You may not like the colors but someone else will love them
– The points are all there. They just might not be on the same side of the quilt
– Practice machine quilting designs on donation quilts. It might not be perfect but it is still needed
Quilting should bring joy and a creative outlet. Not angst.
Sherri says
Love this response, especially the “two fabrics may not go together but 200 will”! Thank you for making it real life.
Alyce says
“The points are all there. They just might not be on the same side of the quilt” is the best quilting quote I’ve ever heard!!
Elizabeth says
I made my first quilt about 12 years ago. I always believed it could take first prize in an ugly quilt competition. I hid this quilt away for years feeling it was not good enough to display or show to my quilting friends. I need to take out this little quilt and show it off to everyone no matter it’s dark brown and green and the quilting stitches are an inch long and crooked. It was my first quilt and started me on a beautiful journey. I still make mistakes cut off my points use odd colours but I know how much I’ve improved and how quilting has helped me through some bad times. In Canada we say if you can’t see the mistake from a galloping horse it’s good enough so I try to remember that instead of reaching for the stitch ripper.
Alyce says
Those first quilts are a beautiful reminder of how far we’ve grown!
Ellie says
Aha! Great place to vent. I have been quite “teacher dependent” for the past 5 years, always afraid of making a mistake, Having said that, I have become an expert at using various seam rippers. Recently, I have started to go it alone with new projects. My new attitude is…..in the end…no one will know what should have/could have been done better. The quilting often does hide mistakes. My gripe is with many of the FB groups where someone, typically a newbie, asks a good question…”What’s the best way to do this?” And…the typical response is “There are no quilt police…..do whatever you want!” Is that how you help someone? We spend a fortune on quality fabrics and threads, or we are making a gift for someone….is that kind of reply going to help us learn why we made a mistake or how to improve as a quilter, etc.? Personally, I want to know WHY one particular method works better than another one. My quilt teacher was always able to provide that answer. I didn’t want to find out 4 years after making a quilt (and it started to come apart at the seams) that there was a better way to do it. There ARE better ways of doing something……that’s all we want to know. Can you imagine if a dentist was never taught the better way? Can you imagine if she was told…”Well, this is good enough………no one will see that awful crown from 3 yards back when riding on a horse……” (IMHO, of course).
Alyce says
Haha! Well, at least quilts aren’t a medical necessity 😉 But yes, it’s a valid point. I firmly believe that people need to have basic skills down pat, but it’s a fine line between self-improvement and self-flagellation. We all want to improve and grow our skills, but we do also need to know when it’s time to accept that sometimes good enough is good enough. As a quilt designer and teacher, I come across a lot of fear and self-doubt and self-beration as people are sewing, and they allow that fear and doubt to stop them from pushing through and accepting that imperfect progress is still progress.
Unless it’s a show quilt and then ignore everything I just said and make it perfect 😉
peacemeal says
When faced with a new quilt (I usually make small quilts for children and dogs in foster care) I try to remember “it’s the thought that counts”. When in doubt, I make one block to check difficulty, and color choice as I have made some really bad color choices. If the block is really not going to work, I finish it off as a hot pad. I have A LOT of hot pads, some of which go between platters or cookie dishes that are seldom used but I want them protected. Not wasted just not in my face. After making over 100 quilts I still mess up but sometimes I’m perfect, perfectly human.
Alyce says
That’s a beautiful way to look at it! We are our own worst critics – recipients aren’t going to be scrutinising our seams, especially children and dogs 😉