I mentioned in my last blog post about my rainbow free motion quilting sampler quilt that there were two projects you could complete to officially graduate from Free Motion Quilting Academy – the sampler quilt, and a wholecloth mini quilt. And now, I’m ready to share more about the mini quilt that I made, and why this project has been so humbling and meaningful.
This is an extremely personal piece. It is one that I was so nervous to share, and yet strangely enough, also ok with sharing my heart through my art. Creativity and self-expression and quilting… sewing as therapy isn’t a new concept, but it’s one that’s becoming more and more a part of my life.
I’m not one to publicly share a lot about my personal life. I’m an introvert for a start, which means I’m an open book with my closest friends, but cautious with those outside that circle and that I don’t like to be the centre of attention. And it’s also friggin’ scary to be open and vulnerable! But what I will share is that these past few months have quite possibly been the hardest for me mentally and emotionally. After years (well, my whole life, really) of not allowing myself to fully process some deep trauma, now is that time – I’m seeing a psychologist, and have an incredible support system of friends and family that are helping me get through this, so I’m in good, safe, strong hands. And while in one sense, I’ve never been as mentally strong as I am right now in that I’m able to continue to move forward through the grief and all the feelings, it is still emotionally exhausting, which leads to physical exhaustion too. And to think that I thought that this year was going to be a wonderful spring after the winter that was 2020! Maybe it still will be, just not quite in the way that I expected, ha!
Yet through all of this, the emotional rollercoaster that is my life right now, never quiet knowing where my brain will be from day to day, nor my energy levels, my faith is keeping me grounded. Even when my world feels shaky, and my mind is storming, God’s peace remains in my heart and gives me quiet strength to take that next step. To let go of the next hurt.
And that’s what this quilt is about. Finding inner strength in the outer storm.
… and sometimes the inner storm, too.
So why this quilt and why now? I was overthinking (as always) what I wanted to do for my project, but ultimately decided that if I was going to make something as cool as a wholecloth mini quilt, it should be something that I would actually want to hang up on my wall š And I wanted a visual reminder of who I am, and Whose I am, on the rough days when I can’t see that so clearly.
A reminder that IĀ am a strong woman. IĀ am valuable and worthy and lovable. I am not the lies that my trauma tries to tell me otherwise.
From a technical, quilty side of the story in terms of how this piece came to be (because I do love to share about that too), I looked at a few silhouette line drawings online to get a rough idea of what shape and proportions I wanted. I then used my Sewline pen to sketch it out on the fabric, before tracing over the line about 3 times with Aurifil 2140 mustard.
I knew that I wanted to graffiti quilt inside the silhouette, partly because it was my favourite motif that I learned in Free Motion Quilting Academy, but mostly because I wanted the sketching/doodling/almost tattoo-like effect I knew it would bring to my quilt. Of course I used Aurifil 2220 coral (my favourite!), and started with the paisley/leaf blooming from the bottom and ending with the gingko leaf-esque flower. It was then a matter of using some other favourite motifs to fill in the rest of the ‘back’, before ending with the feather to fill the ‘head’.
Lastly, for the background in Aurifil 2600 grey – stormy, swirly, and yet also my favourite motif. My go-to filler motif! And then of course a coral binding, duh.
I think this piece is going to hang next to my desk. I originally thought I would hang it up in my bedroom, but I think I need the reminder more next to my desk. That it’s the first thing I see what I walk in because it’s where I most need that boost of confidence. I currently only have a clothes hanger with clips that I usually use, but I think I’ll try and find something a little more special…
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Cindy says
Itās beautiful!
Celia says
It looks wonderful! Thanks for sharing. It took many years for me to get past traumas in my own life so I can understand you totally. Your quilting is lovely.
Alyce says
Thank you, Celia, my heart goes out to you too!
Carol says
That is a lovely piece. I keep going back to it to look more closely at the patterns and “read the story”. Thank you for sharing.
Donna says
Stunningly beautiful! So evocative! My heart goes out to you as you (and yours) go through this healing process. I’ve been in therapy for trauma too (after a lifetime of ignoring it) and it was/is the best gift I’ve ever given myself. You are worthy and strong and special. Thank you so much for sharing this piece with us.
Kerrie says
Well done you on so many levels.
LORENA BOUTIN says
A beautiful story and a beautiful reminder that we can do anything. I wish you well on your journey.
Lyn says
I love your quilt and the story behind it. It sounds like you are making good progress in your healing process. Quilt on, my dear!!
Rhonda says
That is a beautiful quilt! Thank you for sharing your story. I’m praying for you, God is good all the time!
Susan Geraci says
As I have mentioned in the past you (your blog) introduced me to String and Story/FMQA and I am so grateful. I needed to fill my time as I suddenly had to stop working and care for my mom in hospice. We thought the journey would be 2-3 months, but it has lasted almost 10 months. Learning how to create my sampler and whole cloth quilt saved BOTH my mom and me. FMQA grounded me daily. Todayās blog was all about me too. Blessings as you continue your journey of healing. My mom is āalmostā in Heaven. And I am hopeful that my newfound skills will continue to help me on the next part of my journey as I walk this earth with my mom in my heart.
Thanks for sharing Alyce. ā„ļø
Beverly Dewitt says
Thank you for such a wonderful story .At first I thought you was talking to me. As I can relate to past trauma a lot of it .It has taken me 20 plus yrs to accept it and deal with it the best I know how .I became disables at 54 All I knew was raise my children and work .Kids started there adult lifeās But I have a wonderful Husband who has helped me so much and I going Jesus and quilting Both have saved me in more way then one Iām still learning everyday and my quilting is improving some But I just want to say thank you for opening up to total strangers but family too .I have been quilting almost 3 yrs at times itās hard for me. But I just keep praying and digging in Iām not about to give up I have to much invested in quilting and my life. I love your wall hanging some day I will be able to free motion quilt Yours is beautiful.
Lydia Thompson says
āI Am, That I Amā is our cornerstone in all of life. Learning to leave the past traumas in life is difficult and demanding, āI Am…ā helps us see ourselves in our Fatherās eyes.
Your quilt is a beautiful reminder of how special you are to all the world.
Thank you for sharing and God Bless
Alyce says
Thank you so much, Lydia.
Theresa says
Written from the heart, thanks for sharing. Quitting really is a therapy that helps us in so many ways, In mind-body, and soul.
Lisbeth says
Thankyou for sharing your beautiful quilt and the depth of strength and faith that it signifies.
Well done!
Alyce says
Thank you so much, Lisbeth!
Deb Seth says
Your quilt is absolutely stunning! Thank you for sharing the story behind it. God-given strength is truly a blessing. Take good care.