*tip toes in to the room*… Um, hi? It’s, uh, been a while…
But that’s what total burnout will do to you. I’ve barely been in my sewing room, I have had below zero motivation for any BHQ work, and have just kept up with some external obligations like the Scrap Buster Blocks with AccuQuilt Australia, and my Make Modern articles. I haven’t even had the emotional energy to share about the super cool new series I’ve been writing for Make Modern this year!
The only sewing I’ve really done has been slowly working on some English paper pieced blocks for a pattern I’m testing. It’s the Eowyn quilt by Spring Daisy Stitchery, and just like my Plenty of Thyme quilt I pieced last year throughout all the lockdowns, I’ve found peace and solace in the slow stitching process.
It’s been a strange few months, that’s for sure, but what’s new, ha?! Looking back at my last In The Studio blog post from October, I am firstly in shock that it’s already been six months since then… But also, how has it only been six months?!
Since then, it seems like almost everyone I know has now had covid in their household, including us last week with my husband and I both testing positive. So, so grateful for vaccines!!! With us both being triple-vaxxed, it meant that we just had a “really bad cold” for a few days, and careful isolation and masking meant that our kids escaped unscathed.
Our family life is busy with two kids in two different schools, my work undergoing some more transition in staffing and my hours thus changing this month, and my husband getting a major promotion. Plus other assorted “personal life” events, and parenting tweens is no joke, ha! But I shall continue to sing the praises of anxiety medication and therapy for helping me to be stronger and more resilient than I have ever been to deal with the ups and downs of life with so much more ease and peace.
Oh, and we’re getting a puppy at the end of the month! Life is never going to be the same, and I can’t wait for Mochi to become a part of our family.
I’ve also been spending the past few months reflecting on Blossom Heart Quilts. I have realised just how much a part of my identity that it was for almost a decade. That’s not inherently a bad thing! But I did find my worth and value in what “Alyce from Blossom Heart Quilts” did or didn’t do. And that is not a healthy thing.
Over the past year, I have overcome trauma to find myself. I’ve realised that Alyce is actually a kinda cool woman with loads of strengths and qualities that has absolutely nothing to do with pattern sales or social media stats or industry connections. You see, when you find your value in these external measures of success, it means that you’re extremely susceptible to things like burnout when it all completely falls apart due to circumstances outside your control. And also to taking the words of others as truth about yourself, even when they’re toxic and manipulative people who should have no place in your life. And to doing all the things you should do even if it gives you no joy and you dread having to do it. Ahem. Yep, it’s been quite the year+ of growth! I may or may not be planning quite the celebration of my growth… needles are involved.
So here I am, just showing up and sharing where I’m at. Because that’s what I do enjoy doing, and what I shall continue to do when I feel like it and not because I should. Sharing who I am and what I’m up to because I enjoy sharing. I love sharing the stories behind what I make, the creative choices I make. I love me… *gag* sorry, I know that stuff is cringey, it makes me cringe too, and yet, it’s true!
Heidi Staples says
So happy to hear how you’re doing these days, friend! Your blocks are beautiful, your puppy is darling, and you are very much missed. But having done it myself, I completely understand the need to step away and remind yourself what matters most. I’m back on my blog again but taking it slowly too, and it makes all the difference. One of my favorite memories of my last Quilt Market in Houston back in 2019 was that hour spent chatting away with you in Starbucks before I drove home. Sending you all my love and hugs, Alyce!
Carole @ From My Carolina Home says
So good to see a post from you! I understand that ‘burnout’, and covid has not helped the situation. So many bloggers have just quit. I too struggle with putting something on my blog at times with the current challenges I am facing in my private life. But one thing I do know, there are no “shoulds”. There is only what brings you joy, all else is just noise. Take time for yourself when there are challenges to face. Post when it pleases you, do what makes you happy. Take care of yourself.
Deb Seth says
Thank you so much for sharing! I couldn’t really understand what was going on with me when I was feeling the exact same way – it took me a bit over a year to finish my last quilt. And this is supposed to be fun! I’ve been looking at your blocks, and they are fabulous and your instructions are also fabulous. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with those of us who enjoy quilting, but are not necessarily adept at it!